I found this poem written by a mum whose son had committed suicide. Thought it describes exactly how I feel. 'As you moved along your chosen path you always strived to do your best. Yet you never seemed to realise you were far above the rest. You were such fun to be around. Your love of life was a joy to see. Cramming so much into your days. You were happy and carefree. Then came the day that you lost your way. Completely fell off track. And though you tried to right yourself. There was no turning back. Your life became a challenge then. Dark clouds gathered up above. It did not even help to know How deeply you were loved. Now all we have are memories And those we will hold dear. Some will make us laugh some may make us cry. But they will keep you forever near. Emptiness engulfs our lives. Now you have gone away. We cannot express the pain we feel. There are no words to say. And so to your final resting place. On Angel's wings you soar. You are safe at last, your pain has gone. You are not broken anymore'. IN MEMORY OF MY BEAUTIFUL BOY - WOULDNT SWAP A MOMENT OF THE 20 years i had with you X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X